Your Equal?
by Red0313
Summary: How will Scully react when Mulder ditches her again
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

I was fuming. Why was I fuming? Mulder decided he was going to ditch me, yet again, to go follow up on a lead. I can't really call it ditching me, because he did phone me and say that he was going to go, that I should just stay home and not worry about it. He said that he would call me and let me know what happens. I think that is what pissed me off the most! Why the hell would he call and then tell me to stay home. Aren't we partners? Shouldn't he at least try to persuade me into joining his little adventure? He used to. Did something happen between us that I seemed to have overlooked?

If you asked me what provoked Mulder's behavior, I wouldn't even begin to tell you. Lately we had become closer. We've been working together for six years, and I think that the rule book was thrown out the window after four. Recently, Mulder had invited me over to his house every Friday for beers and a movie. Sometimes I would have one too many to drive, so Mulder had me take the bed while he slept on the couch. I declined his offer, but he insisted that he kept it made for me, shall I ever need a place to stay. I was flattered. On many occasions, I would pass out on his shoulder. He would cover me up with his blanket, then he would go to his bed like a gentleman. Sometimes he would carry me to the bed, but I told him to leave me on the couch. If I was going to be boring and pass out on him, then that would be my punishment. He laughed at that.

Though, many times, I had been on the verge of sleep, and I would feel Mulder staring at me. I knew he liked to watch me sleep. He had told me a couple times, after a few beers. He said that I looked peaceful and happy. I looked like I didn't have a care in the world. He said that my face looked angelic. I was touched. I knew Mulder was in love with me. He had told me while he was in the hospital. I thought, at first, that he was drugged. But, the way he was reacting confirmed my suspicions. I liked the thought of Mulder staring at me when I slept. It made me feel warm inside. It sounds funny, but when he stares, I can almost feel his love.

One time, he was tucking me into bed, and I felt him kiss my cheek. He had covered me up and made sure I was safe and secure. I felt him stare at me for a minute and then he whispered an 'I love you.' I had to strain to hear it, and I thought I had imagined it, but the way he sighed, I knew it was confessed. I mumbled a good-night and rolled over. I wanted to say it back, but the time wasn't right.

Now you can see why this behavior is out of character. If we had been closer and possibly crossing that line, why would he ditch me. He knows how I feel about him leaving me behind. Was he trying to push me away?

Anyway, here I am at his apartment, madder than hell. I don't know if I am more mad or insulted. I decided that I would wait for him when he got home and confront him here. It was late, so I was already in my sweats and tank top. Half way to his apartment, I realized that I should've put on clothes. But, I was so pissed, logic seemed scarce. I used my key to let myself in. I plopped myself down on the couch and ran scenarios through my head. I kept planning on what I was going to say to Mulder. I wasn't sure if I should use the guilt trip or just flat out lay into him. I didn't really have time to decide, because the next thing I knew, I heard the key being inserted into the old lock.

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	2. Chapter 2

I was sitting in Mulder's apartment, in the dark. So, when he opened the door, he had no idea I was sitting on his leather couch, fuming. He walked in, pulling out his phone, and placing his keys on the desk. I suppose he was about to call me. At least he was being honest.

"Hey, Mulder." He took a loud gasp. I know I startled him. Point for me. "Scully, you nearly scared me to death. I was just calling y-" I interrupt him. "Yeah, I see that." I know he does not miss the venom in my voice. "Scully, is something the matter?" He looks so confused.

"Seriously, Mulder? You have no idea why I am so pissed off at you?" This pisses me off just a tad bit more. "You ditched me again, Mulder. Only this time, you called to let me know ahead of time. I can't decide if that pissed me off more or not!" His eyes get ten times bigger. "What! Scully, I called you so that you wouldn't think I was ditching you again." He walks towards me, but I side step him. "No, Mulder. That was a total slap in the face. I am supposed to be your partner, your equal! You can't just follow up on a lead, without me." He looks like he understands where I am coming from.

"Scully, I am sorry. I didn't think it through." He gives me the puppy dog eyes. "No, Mulder, you thought it through." Mulder knew exactly what he was doing. He scoffs. "Do you know how it makes me feel when you ditch me?" I decided I would play the guilt trip on him. Obviously, yelling at him doesn't do a damn thing.

"No, Scully, you hide your feelings pretty well, actually!" Okay, it couldn't hurt to yell a little. "It makes me feel unwanted, incompetent, and useless. I feel like you don't want me there, traipsing across the country. I feel like I am just your pretty side kick, like I can't do a damn thing for you. I feel like you think I am just some tag along. If you don't want me around, just tell me." I see that my words hurt. I feel a little guilty, but that was my goal. Mission accomplished.

"Scully, you don't really believe that, do you?" I cross my arms across my chest and dramatically nod my head. "I need you, Scully. It may not seem like it, but I will always need you. You have to know that." He gives me a long, loving look. My heart melts. " I guess subconsciously I didn't want you there, because if something were to happen, I would never forgive myself. I don't want you wasting your life away on some hallow, personal journey of mine. But, I am to selfish to actually tell you to walk away. Don't think for one second, I don't need you." He stares at me, waiting for my reaction. What am I supposed to do?

"Mulder... " I scoff a little bit, "I didn't sign up for the FBI to be safe. I knew the consequences. I knew that it was life threatening. This is personal. This is just as much my crusade as yours. I am offended to think you would think differently. I thought I had proven my worth." I raise my voice a little bit too much. "Above all, Mulder, I don't like sitting around waiting, wondering if you are okay or not. If it is dangerous, it is incredibly foolish that you go alone. Don't push me away, Mulder. I care about your safety, just as you do mine."

"I don't always want to go cross-country with you, Mulder, but being invited is nice. I was assigned to you, as a spy. I know you knew that. But, I thought over the past six years, we had become equals. Maybe I was wrong." I say the last part quietly.

I knew it was a low blow. Mulder respected me, and I knew it. If he didn't, I would have left a long time ago. What do you expect from me? Being ditched is almost like being rejected. And Mulder wonders why I don't believe him when he declares his love for me. As I was standing there, head down, sulking, Mulder did something I least expected.

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	3. Chapter 3

Out of no where, Mulder walks up to me, puts a finger under my chin, and looks into my eyes. It was a bold move on his part. I was furious. I had to hand it to him though. His hazel eyes caught mine, and it was almost too much to handle. I saw the love and tenderness radiating in his eyes. I felt like a bitch. Did I really need to make a big deal about it? Yes, I did. I can't let him get away with this, yet again. I asked him if I was his equal. I wasn't sure what he was going to say, to be honest.

"Scully, do you really have any doubts, " he asked, looking directly into my soul. "Mulder..." I am at a loss for words. "I thought we were so much more than equals, " he says to me. I take a surprised gasp. "Well, tell me I am wrong. Tell me we are just work partners." He's right. "I can't. You're right, " I confess while looking down. This is a lot for me to take in. "But that doesn't mean it's okay to ditch me, Mulder. You hurt my feelings." He really did hurt my feelings. It's going to take some time for this one to heal. "Scully, I really thought I was being considerate this time. Looking back, I know I was wrong, and I am so sorry." He admits and gives a defeated shrug. I look into his eyes, and he looks honest. I give a smile small, and he pulls me in for a hug. He knows I have probably already forgiven him.

"Well, there isn't much we can do now. Just promise me you will quit running off without me," I say into his chest. He has his head buried in my hair and his arms wrapped tightly around me. "Scully, I can't promise you that," he says into my hair. I stiffen, and I go to pull away, but he pulls me back in. "I mess up, Scully. I don't want to break promises. I will promise you that I will try my hardest not to hurt you ever again." He felt terrible, and I know it.

It wasn't fair for me to ask Mulder such a heavy promise. I knew he was an adventurous spirit. Sometimes he did mess up, and that is okay. I can't hold it against him. Sometimes I am a real pain in the ass. As long as he was willing to try, that was all I could ask for. It was enough for me. I pulled back, gazed into his eyes, and silently told him I accepted his apology. He bent down and gave me a kiss on the nose. We put our foreheads together, and stood there for a minute. Eventually, we had to detach from each other. I reluctantly backed away.

"So, do you want to just crash here?" I looked at the clock and realized it was pretty late, and it would be miserable driving home. "I'd like that, Mulder." Maybe this little argument was a good thing. Maybe it was a step closer to that dangerous line.

He walks me to the bed where I take my shoes off. Pulling back the covers, he ushers me in. Once I am laying down, he tucks the covers around me, and gives me a light kiss on the lips. It was so soft. I almost thought I imagined it. But, the way my lips were tingling, I knew he had done it. He bid me a quick good-night, and I know he was at war with himself. He wasn't sure if he should crawl in with me or not. As he was walking away, I grabbed his wrist.

"Mulder, do you want to sleep in here, with me, tonight?" I know I was blushing, and I felt my eyes plead with him. It was a bold move, and I only hoped he didn't reject me. "Let me just lock up and get the lights, " he calmly said. I know he was surprised, because his eyes grew and I heard him choke on a gasp.

After I heard him lock up and do whatever it was he was doing in the kitchen, I saw his silhouette walk through the doorway. I was nervous as hell. It wasn't the first time we shared a bed, but this wasn't two professionals sharing a bed. This was a man and a woman sharing a bed. Two people who loved each other. I watched him walk around to his side and strip out of his clothes. I tried not to watch, but I couldn't help myself. I know he caught me, but it just boosted his ego. I guess it was a win, win situation. After he disposed of his clothes, he crawled in behind me. I felt the heat of his body as it came in contact with my back. He wrapped a hand around my waist and pulled me into his chest with ease and no arguments from me. With his other hand, he slipped it under my head so that I could use it as a pillow. He gently rested his head down directly next to mine, and put his nose on my neck. It tickled and turned me on at the same time.

"Is this okay, Scully?" Was this okay? Yes, it was okay. It felt like heaven, and I wasn't going to push him away. I was at a loss for words, it felt so good. "Mmmmm. This is fine." I felt his sigh with relief, and I gave a little giggle. It was silent for a while, and I had started to doze off. I felt Mulder move and look over me. He stared for a second, and then he whispered, "I love you, Scully." I know he thought I was asleep. It was still sweet, even if I wasn't supposed to hear it. I decided that this was it. I was going to confess my love for Mulder. I sleepily mumbled, " Love you too, Mulder."

He froze. I know I scared the shit out of him for the second time that night. I turned my neck around and looked up at him. He was staring down at me with wide eyes. I think he was in shock. I know I was smiling like a crazy person. It felt good to get that off my chest, and I was happy I had done it. I quickly lifted myself up and kissed him gently on the lips for a second. I didn't even give him time to reciprocate. I laid back down, and Mulder finally relaxed back into me. It was a night of truth. Before I fell asleep for good, I heard Mulder mumble, "you're a constant surprise, Scully."

The End

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